Be Still And Know

Photo by EVG Kowalievska on

December 26, 2020, I ended the last Post indicating that I ended up in the Emergency Ward. Covid sure made a trip to Emergency interesting. Roxanne was not able to come in with me and had to leave me at the door. I know that was hard on her, actually really hard on both of us. It was the first time since my diagnosis that we were not able to be together while at an appointment or getting medical attention.

She went home and I waited. The wait that late Saturday afternoon actually wasn’t that long. Would it have been better if my stay was longer? Probably, but that is alright, it just allowed me to meet more people. They ruled out a stroke which I didn’t even think about and the doctor sent me home that night with some medication, believing I had Bell’s Palsy.

On Monday we called The Cross and they said go back to the hospital and ask for imaging to be done. So Roxanne dropped me off at the hospital. I was there Monday the 28th for 9 hours, as my entire face was essentially not working and I could not eat. I met the greatest doctor, Dr. C. who spent lots of time with me, asked questions and listened. The room I was in was also amazing. The best room I have ever seen at Emergency. He ordered a CT scan of my brain… The CT tech, Dianne, was also very kind, and made me laugh. It was 9:30 at night and she had been working all day, but kept me laughing the entire time. An hour or so later Dr. C. came back and showed me the picture of my brain……One lesion appeared. He apologized, I told him it was ok that it would be alright. So in addition to the organs that were impacted they now found a lesion on my brain. He spent time talking to the Cancer Center, and they discussed the possibilities of surgery. They wanted me to come back on Tuesday for an MRI as an MRI is always much better and the concern they had was that in fact there was more than just one lesion on my brain. It was the lesion on my brain that was affecting my facial muscles.

7 hours Tuesday (29th) back to the hospital. I had the MRI and waited. Another doctor, Dr. G. found me just before 4, we ended up speaking in a hallway as there were no vacant rooms….”she said there is only one”. My response “praise the Lord there is only one”. I am not making light of the situation or cancer, but I know that my attitude and faith and the many prayers that we are getting are paramount for beating this thing….Right off the bat she said it is so good to see that I had a positive attitude. She had apologized as well for the wait, as she spent several hours discussing my case. It was determined that surgery was not the best option, but they wanted to move forward with “Gamma Knife” treatment. She said I would receive a call the next day. Before I left the hospital Dr. C. from Monday came back, and said it was great that I was a candidate for “Gamma Knife” and then actually shook my hand. It was my first handshake since the start of COVID. The doctor also sent me home with a prescription for Dexamethasone. More about that in later posts.

As promised we did receive a call the next day from the neurologist, Dr. O. and one of his team. They wanted to get me in as soon as possible. We settled on Wednesday the 6th. Christmas Eve in the Julian Calendar, we celebrate twice because of my Ukrainian Heritage. Roxanne also knew Dr O. from work and she was glad that he was looking at our case.

The Wednesday morning (January 6, 2021) we had to be awake at 4:30. It reminded me of early morning wake up to catch a flight somewhere. No flight, just a 15 minute drive to the hospital We had no idea what to expect, but as I like to learn I can tell you I learned lots about the wonders of modern medicine and technology.. There were 4 people scheduled to get “Gamma Ray Knife” treatment that day. The process involved getting another MRI, and much to both Roxanne’s pleasure and mine they confirmed that it was just the one lesion on the brain. She clapped and I said Praise the Lord… They also found no “seedlings” which was another blessing. They had to then prepare a mask which I had to wear, and it was formed for me specifically. I was able to take it home for a “souvenir” or as they called it for “show and tell”. I have kept it as a reminder of God’s grace and power. They had to design a plan based on the MRI, and after it was approved by a number of doctors and physicists, into the machine I went. I asked for a few minutes for pray with Roxanne, they respected that and stepped back from us. When we finished praying, everyone left the room and the process started.

My Souvenir

It was approximately 30 minutes in length. I could sense God’s presence reminding me to “Trust Him” and also I could feel the prayers that people were sending up to Heaven on our behalf Not only could I feel their prayers, I could see many faces, The power of prayer is so important, never stop praying and never stop trusting and believing about that situation in your on in your life or the lives of others…..Nothing going on in your life is too big for God!

Out of the machine I came, the technician said I did a great job, A couple of times he said he was almost ready to call me on the speaker to get me breathing deeper. He decided not to. I believe it was during the times when my breathing slowed that I was hearing the prayers and hearing God’s gentle voice. I will never forget those 30 minutes. It was so great to see Roxanne when I was done. What a smile she had on her face as she visited with other nurses. It was another amazing team we met and we are so blessed to have such wonderful health care. About an hour later we were on our way home.

Early Morning At The Hospital

I have no idea who reads this BLOG but, I don’t mind sharing that they did show me pictures of my brain, both from my the hospital visit on the 28th and from January 6th. On the 28th I had the lesion plus a large amount of swelling on my brain. Because they put me on “DEX” a steroid the swelling had gone down substantially, which is also helped with my speech and everything else. A great positive as well, in spite of what had been going on they said I had a “good looking brain”. That was good to know. I was eating again, talking again, and God remains and always will be AMAZING.

It was about a week later that I had to buy a pair of reading glasses as I couldn’t quite read the paper. That was interesting because I had never worn corrective lenses in my life.. A few days later it was a stronger pair. Well I think that is enough for today. Thanks to everyone that stops by to visit this BLOG. It is the story of a journey but more importantly a story of God’s goodness.

“Be still and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10

11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 12 In those days when you pray, I will listen. 13 You will find me when you seek me, if you look for me in earnest.” Jeremiah 29:11-13


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